“The God Within”—Self Care isn’t Selfish Continues
That anger is not me. It is not my higher self…It is a part of me. It is most likely a wounded part of me…By taking some deep breaths to separate from that emotion…I can ask that angry part of me: “Why are you so angry…tell me about it?” -Kendra Stein
The Self-Care Isn’t Selfish webinar continued on Saturday, September 10, 2022 with Kendra Stein as the guest speaker. Kendra, a family coach educated through Generational Healing spoke powerfully and honestly about her journey of “Finding the God Within”
Beginning with the explanation of the difference between self-care and self-love, Kendra said that she discovered that no matter how much time she made for herself (vacations, pedicures, lunch with friends, meditations), she didn't feel full or whole in her heart. Finally, when she became exhausted and everything was falling apart, her journey led to discovering the masks that she was wearing, such as being a people pleaser and becoming aware of the emotions that she was running from or blaming others for.
Kendra told us that she looked under the masks that she had learned to wear. She guided us to understand that we each have four inner parts:
The original and inherited self that we are born as,
The wounded self that comes from the painful experiences that we have,
The masks that we wear to cope, protect ourselves and survive and
The adult loving self which can save us and help us learn to re-parent ourselves.
Through our loving adult, we can learn to gain awareness and practice curiosity about what caused our wounds. As we recognize what blocks us from loving ourselves, we can explore and heal. This is true self love. From this place, we can connect more deeply with others and feel God within ourselves thus finding a love that is full and never depletes.
Kendra shared, as an example, that one of her masks is pleasing people, to make other people happy no matter what. However, when her giving was not authentic, she ended up sacrificing and overextending herself. When she said yes when she should have said no she realized her mask was not actually serving her and that she had weak boundaries.
She realized underneath her mask was a belief from childhood that she was responsible for other people's feelings and to make people happy. She realized it is okay for others to be mad or angry. That is their own emotion and without sharing our emotions we can never feel close to others. Now she can show up authentically, know how to express emotions in healthy ways, keep to her boundaries, and have more loving and authentic relationships.
What mask do you find yourself wearing? What is underneath your mask?
It is something to think about as the year comes to a close. Learning and growing and becoming a better version of yourself is the greatest gift and inspiration a person can give to others.
Author’s Note: We are excited that we have added two more coaches to our core team: Kendra Stein and Shawna Pace Kempf. We already have speakers lined up for the first six months of 2023. Our first webinar in 2023 will be on January 14 at 10 am PST entitled “Energize Your Dream.” You can register here: https://tinyurl.com/January-2023-Self-Care
Background about Self Care Isn’t Selfish series
The end of 2021, five coaches joined together to create a monthly series entitled, “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—Healing Yourself, Your Family and the World which was launched January 2022. During 2022, our team was able to host ten webinars using our training as coaches and the tools and resources that we have learned to support WFWP members and friends. We also had guest speakers who helped us find balance and energy in our daily lives. Beginning with five coaches—Donna Avey, RoseAnn Kennett, Myrna Lapres, Liisa Freystaetter and Loretta Anderson, we meet twice a month to plan and create a space for God to work through our desire, commitment, and unity. Our planning group consists of coaches trained by Hilde Wiemann, founder of Generational Healing. We were inspired to combine our healing work with the vision of WFWP—Women working together to establish a culture of heart in the family, community, nation, and world in order to achieve genuine and sustainable peace under God.
To watch past webinars in the Self-Care Isn’t Selfish series visit Myrna Lapre’s YouTube channel.