Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
On Saturday, October 16, the first in a series “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish” began with 21 participants to explore how taking care of ourselves can be a catalyst for peace in our relationships. The idea behind this webinar series started when a group of coaches trained by Hilde Wiemann, Generational Healing, who are also members of WFWP felt inspired to combine their healing work with the vision of WFWP—Women working together to establish a culture of heart in the family, community, nation, and world in order to achieve genuine and sustainable peace under God.
The webinar opened with a relaxing meditation from Insight Timer that used the acronym SNACK to help us remember to make time for self-care.
S—stop to do self-care using soothing touch
N—notice the thoughts and feelings that come up
A—practice acceptance
C—common humanity, we are not alone
K—treat ourselves with kindness
Following the meditation, Myrna Lapres, GWPN representative in Northern California, and a relationship and family coach, introduced the session by acknowledging that many of us have deeply rooted beliefs about self-care. Some of us may take care of others so much that we often forget our own needs. It can be difficult to find a good balance in our lives between our own needs and the needs of others. Sharing from her own experience and introducing knowledge and tools from Real Love by Dr. Greg Baer, Myrna guided the participants to think about how our past impacts who we are today. We have all had painful experiences which have wounded us and in order to cope, we develop habits and wear masks to numb and hide our pain.
Myrna Lapres explaining about self-care
Think for a moment about how you cope with a difficult interaction: Do you use humor to deflect? Are you the one who tries to keep everyone happy? Do you say something sarcastic or get angry? Do you show-off or make yourself the center of attention? Or do you withdraw, remain silent or even move away from the conversation?
Myrna said that to make changes in how we live our lives, we need to begin with two things: the desire to change and the belief that change is possible. This belief involves faith—the act of consciously choosing to experience something that we haven’t experienced before. Next, we need to become more self-aware, recognize the mistakes that we have made and begin telling the truth about who we are. This is a scary process, taking off our masks, but it is necessary. Myrna stated that “Truth-telling creates the opportunity for us to be seen, accepted and loved in a safe environment.”
Liisa Freystaetter, one of the coach members of the webinar planning team, spoke about her own truth to demonstrate this for the group. Afterwards, everyone had the opportunity to join breakout rooms to discuss, “What kind of masks do I wear?” and begin to tell the truth about themselves as honestly as possible. After coming back together, one participant commented:
“This webinar is so timely—my body is giving me messages that I really need to take better care of myself.”
Another said: “I really appreciate being together one-on-one with another person. Even though we are very different, we found things we have in common. We really need each other to listen and find connection.”
RoseAnn explaining about EFT during the webinar
One of the goals of this webinar series is to provide attendees with tools that support their self-care. RoseAnn Kennett, another coach member of the planning team, introduced Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also called tapping. RoseAnn said:
I like to think of EFT as an acupressure for the emotions because we are tapping on the same meridian points. It helps to release stress and anxiety to discover what is underneath it. EFT is a very practical tool because you can do it almost anywhere using your hands.
With a volunteer from the audience, Dr. Linda Nishikawa, WFWP Western Regional Coordinator, RoseAnn led everyone through several rounds of tapping. Afterwards, Linda said: “I feel I can manage my stress and take care of my to-do list with no problems. When I am stress free and feeling creative, I can accomplish more.”
You can watch the recording of the webinar here: https://youtu.be/DfQ6HG7waj8.
Register for the next in the series “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish” on December 11, 1-2:30 pm PST here: https://tinyurl.com/2jrzxser