The Sacred Space Between: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

“When you intentionally make the expression of love part of your daily practice…the more you become love, and when you become the embodiment of love, you can change the world.”
-Joe Dispenza

Our November 11, 2022 webinar was entitled “The Sacred Space Between—The Point of Connection.” Myrna Lapres, a relationship and parent coach/educator and author, drew on her experience as a Safe Conversations facilitator to give us a new definition of relationship. That definition is two people and the space between them. The space might look empty, but it is the energy field that flows between two people and what we put into that space impacts the quality of our relationships. Myrna said, “We can make that space safe or dangerous. If it is safe, we feel connected and we thrive. If it is dangerous or feels unsafe, we instinctively feel defensive and afraid.”

Myrna went on to challenge participants to reflect on their families and think about the kind of environment that exists; is it supportive or filled with tension? She explained, “When we allow criticism, negativity or put downs to be part of our family culture, it taints our relationships.” She introduced the idea of creating a culture of zero negativity and offered steps to do this in our families and communities.

●      Start by acknowledging that connection is essential for all relationships and criticism and negativity break that connection.

●      Negativity can be expressed through our words, body language, or tone of voice and can be experienced by another person even when that wasn’t our intention.

●      The next step is to make the decision to work on this as a family and hold a family meeting to discuss it. During the meeting, come up with a code word to be used when someone experiences negativity, like ouch or wow.

●      If negativity is experienced, have a re-do process. The one who experienced the putdown asks the other person to restate without the negative twist. Time might be needed for the individuals to cool down and a hug or an apology might be needed after.

●      The final step is for family members to begin to be curious about how or why a family member says or does something instead of getting defensive. Begin to ask honest, curious questions.

Participants had the chance to discuss and share in breakout rooms about the following question: How can you take care of the space between yourself and another person that you care about? 

Next the participants were able to ask questions. One question was about how to reconnect with someone once there were deep wounds in the relationship.

Myrna and Kendra Stein, emcee for the eventing and fellow coach with generational healing both shared that there are ways to reconnect a broken relationship, but sometimes the only option is to work on your own healing. Kendra summed up the beauty of healing oneself and how that success inspires others: 

“We begin by accepting that we were wounded through past relationships, which isn’t our fault, but our healing is our responsibility. It is our work to heal, and if it is difficult to heal within our family, we need to find support groups, coaches, therapists, and wise people to help us move forward. Often, when we begin to heal, we inspire others in our life to get curious and make changes as well.”

To watch the recording on the Sacred Space Between click Here.

Background about Self Care Isn’t Selfish series

At the end of 2021, five coaches joined together to create a monthly series entitled, “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—Healing Yourself, Your Family and the World'' which was launched January 2022. During 2022, our team was able to host ten webinars using our training as coaches and the tools and resources that we have learned to support WFWP members and friends. We also had guest speakers who helped us find balance and energy in our daily lives. Beginning with five coaches—Donna Avey, RoseAnn Kennett, Myrna Lapres, Liisa Freystaetter and Loretta Anderson, we met twice a month to plan and create a space for God to work through our desire, commitment, and unity. Our planning group consists of coaches trained by Hilde Wiemann, founder of Generational Healing. We were inspired to combine our healing work with the vision of WFWP—Women working together to establish a culture of heart in the family, community, nation, and world in order to achieve genuine and sustainable peace under God.

To watch past webinars in the Self-Care Isn’t Selfish series visit Myrna Lapre’s YouTube channel.