Turning Failure Into Growth: 3 Essential Reminders for the New Year
Written by: Katarina Connery
It’s a brand-new year! This is typically a time for reflecting on the past and setting goals for the future. Maybe you feel excitement and hope for 2025. But what happens when the new year only reminds you of unmet expectations and failures?
We all experience the pain of failure. Whether it’s a career setback, a personal goal, or a relationship that didn’t work out, failure can feel like a kick in the gut. It’s disheartening when something you poured your heart into falls apart, leaving you feeling stuck and burdened by the weight of disappointment.
Failure is inevitable, but the good news is that we don’t have to identify with our mistakes. You are not your failures. You are not your pain or disappointment. With the right mindset and tools, we can turn failure into growth and move forward with renewed hope. Here are three essential reminders to help you navigate these difficult moments:
1. Remember You Are Not Alone
One of the most isolating aspects of failure is the feeling that you’re the only one experiencing it. Thoughts like “Only I could make such a mistake” or “There must be something wrong with me” can creep in, intensifying shame and self-doubt. However, failure is a universal human experience, and you are not alone.
Brené Brown’s book, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t), is an excellent resource for understanding how societal pressures create feelings of inadequacy. Brown’s work reminds us that vulnerability and shared experiences bring us closer to others. Knowing that others have felt similar pain can be deeply comforting and liberating.
2. Remember Your Fundamental Goodness
When failure strikes, it’s easy to over-identify with negative emotions like anger, frustration, or disappointment. Instead of seeing these feelings as temporary, you might start believing that they define you. This erodes your sense of worth and makes it hard to recognize your inner goodness.
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s book, Good Inside, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and nurturing our fundamental worth. While the book focuses on parenting, its insights are also relevant for adults. Treating yourself with compassion and tenderness can help you regulate your emotions and move through failure without being consumed by it. Remember, your inner core remains good, whole, and worthy no matter what.
3. Remember You Are Loved
In moments of deep failure, it’s common to withdraw from or lash out at others, believing that your struggles make you unworthy of love. Yet, even at your lowest, you are loved. The support of others can be a powerful antidote to feelings of isolation and despair.
Reach out to a trusted friend or loved one who has shown you unconditional support. Their embrace and understanding can remind you of your worth. For me, music is another source of comfort. Songs like Restless Heart by Jessie Early, You Say by Lauren Daigle, and I Won’t Let You Go by Switchfoot remind me of my value and the love that surrounds me. Find what resonates with you—whether it’s music, art, or another form of expression—and let it uplift you.
Moving Forward
Failure doesn’t have to define your story. By remembering that you are not alone, recognizing your inherent goodness, and embracing the love around you, you can turn failure into an opportunity for growth. This year can be one of healing, joy, and transformation—a year where you thrive in the face of challenges and rediscover your strength.
