WOMEN AS PEACE MAKERS AND PEACE LEADERS
President Angelika Selle Presenting in Maryland
Good afternoon, dear ladies, mothers, leaders,
Happy Women's History Month! Thank you to the organizers of this important event, to Rebecca Holland, to the Maryland Chairwoman Kim Dadachanji, to Emiko Butler and all the Japanese women and mothers for preparing such a beautiful atmosphere here.
As we heard in our introduction, WFWP is committed to World Peace –with women playing a central role in the peace making. And "Women as Peacemakers" is the topic for today's event which is a rather huge subject to cover.
So as I was thinking and meditating on what to share with you today, I want to talk about:
The need for a new type of leadership for peace
Why women are best suited for being those "new" type of leaders
What are the characteristics of leadership for peace?
How to nurture and strengthen those qualities not only within ourselves, but in our sons and daughters and in the next generation.
I . New paradigm for leadership
Let me also begin with quote from our founder, Dr. Hak Ja Han Moon, who said in her inaugural speech for WFWP in 1992 entitled "Women's Role in World Peace:"
"We see the signs of decay and confusion all around us. We need look no further than our own communities to find babies born addicted to drugs, children scarred by physical and sexual abuse, young dreams destroyed by unwanted pregnancy and neighborhoods under the siege of random violence. As women we are deeply affected by these images. Our families and our children are casualties of a culture that exalts living mainly for the self. The impact of this selfishness reaches from the individual to our families, communities, nations and world."
The result of this kind of selfish leadership is what we see today, as was described by Mother Moon: extreme poverty and suffering, political tyranny, and fierce ethnic and religious wars.
How did we get here? Thus far history has been mostly governed by men, whose style of leadership tends to be very territorial, controlling, manipulative, competitive, judgmental, narrow, and, yes, egocentric, power and position hunger, to name a few qualities.
In a news article of the Washington Post a few years ago, there was a headline: "The World Is Without A Leader." That means that men's leadership in government, churches, or institutions, and even in the United Nations has reached its end. And that is because thus far from the beginning history, only half of humanity was given a voice at the decision-making table, and thus leadership is limited.
There is good news: In a CSW event at the United Nations in 2011, in one session it was noted, that in order to accomplish the original goals for the UN to create and ensure world peace, there is only one resource left that has been untapped: Women and Youth.
II. Why do we need women, and what can we contribute?
For one thing, we believe that most, if not all, of the social ills and problems have their origin in selfishness, as Mother Moon has stated. But even deeper than that, we are dealing with emotions here: deeply-seeded emotions that have driven history so far, emotions of hatred, strife and jealousy, fear, anger, etcetera, etcetera.
And as we know men don't know how to deal with emotions, or acknowledge them. They usually operate from their intellect and reason, on the outside, but are driven from the emotions on the inside. We can see this in dramas on television today.
Women, on the other hand, are beings of emotion, sensitivity, intuition, compassion, and understanding first and foremost. These are the God-given innate qualities given to us by our Creator because we are the ones nurturing and raising our children, educating their consciences and understanding their needs.
Earlier we talked about a "Mother's Heart" or Parental Heart that women have and operate from. And that is the aspect of leadership that has been absent thus far. Because of that, most problems and social ills are still alive and well today.
It is, in fact, innate motherly hearts, women's deep wisdom, insights, and creativity, positive emotions of agape love that are now needed to bring about positive change, from the local to the global level, in every aspect of our society: media, education politics, cultures, the arts; in order to bring change for the better and to create an atmosphere that is conducive to peace.
III. What kind of leadership is needed – what are the character traits needed for peace leaders?
The new type of leadership we are talking about must be motivated from the heart of a mother or parent, PARENTISM, which is based on spiritual values, selfless love, dedication and sacrifice based on a life-style of practicing "living for the sake of others," or "living by the logic of love."
What is logic? It is the left brain and represents training in skills. What is love? It is the right brain and represents training in heart: compassion, patience, service, reconciliation (for example how does reconciliation come about? through listening and serving.)
Thus far in history, the left brain was the dominating force and frame of reference, and we now need a paradigm shift to the right brain, which is training in heart: love, compassion, patience, service, sacrifice, reconciliation, and harmony; in order to create the long-needed balance. And that's where women and mothers come in. By the way, it takes a lot of work on yourself to make the shift!
Now let's talk more specifically about what kind of characteristics a peace leader needs to acquire or nurture. Two years ago, as part of a personal project, I interviewed several women leaders, experienced mothers and daughters, and young women leaders. I asked them what they felt were the most important qualities we need to acquire, develop, teach, and draw out (educate) of ourselves and each other. Here are some key qualifications of a young woman leader that most everyone interviewed agreed on:
• Morals, ethics, values, and virtues – This was the number one point that all emphasized. Education toward a better world and true leadership begins with the self and with a simple understanding of right and wrong. A young woman leader needs to follow her conscience and become a person of virtue, sincerity, integrity and humility. As Ghandi exemplified: Peace begins with me: BE the Change.
• Compassion, love, and kindness toward others – We need to acknowledge, highlight, and strengthen those feminine qualities within ourselves. First of all toward myself, and then toward others. That is a great power and emotion, more powerful than the selfishness around us, and can turn enemies into friends, and spears into pruning hooks. Through caring and loving others, we can accomplish more than through confrontation and judgment (all based on truth and honesty, of course). Most important is to love the self in order to love others and be an agent of healing.
• Relationship skills and education of the heart – We strongly believe and promote the family as the school of love and the school for peace leadership. Especially our upcoming generation of young woman leaders needs to grow up in a harmonious and righteous family to learn and practice healthy relationships and experience the different kinds of love we described earlier. Dr. Moon teaches that society is the extension of the family.
• Find one's gifts, passion, or "inner calling" – It is essential that we women, mothers, and young women leaders develop our spirituality and connection with our Creator, God. In my own experience, through prayer, meditation, and self-reflection we can become more confident in ourselves and our gifts, and many times feel a divine hand guiding us.
• Develop a global and local consciousness – A woman leader of peace in this new age should be at least somewhat educated or exposed to one or two areas of the following: politics, international cooperation, business, languages, social issues, the arts, and the religions and ethnicities of the world. In fact I have met many young women professionals who are very dedicated and passionate in their area of expertise.
• Mentorship – Every woman and every leader needs someone who absolutely believes in her and sincerely cares about her. This is based on my own experience. As a child, teenager, and young adult, I was very shy and quiet, had no opinions, and low self-esteem until God put a teacher in my life who saw my potential, believed in me, and challenged me. Thankfully, I responded and developed my potential and found my true self.
IV. How can we nurture these precious qualities and instill them into our next generation and the world around us?
We have to begin with ourselves. As I already mentioned one needs compassion toward oneself. But what I want to emphasize is that we especially need good health, to care for our precious bodies as temples of God, to eat good and healthy food, and to have positive thoughts.
a) Take time to breathe, go to a spa, read a book, chat with a friend, dance, sing, whatever makes you happy;
b) Make time as a family over dinner to talk what is on your hearts;
c) Self-reflect every day about our thoughts, actions;
d) Live in the moment, live consciously, and enjoy your gifts as you share them with others wherever you are.
How can we bequeath what we have learned to the next generation?
BE the role model and example they can aspire to and be proud of. Leave a legacy of true love.
I would like to close with the words of our dear Founder and role-model, Dr. Hak Ja Han Moon, from the speech "The Ideal Home and World Peace," given on August 23, 1995 in Seoul, Korea:
"I have expounded since the founding of the Women's Federation that God and history are asking us to live a life of love and service, and build a world through realizing the ideal home. All the misuse of love and the selfish reality that has been controlling humanity must be boldly cleaned up. Immorality, hatred, and all self-centered perversions must be eradicated. It is the proper role of women to demand an end to and put in order these wrongful practices...With the introduction of this new women's age, all women need to become new pioneers, who guide with true love...and establish a world of true peace."
Together we can and will do it!
Thank you very much!