PARENTING AN AUTISTIC CHILD
My journey of parenting an autistic child begins with LOVE. However, in the beginning, there was a lot of denial. Honestly speaking, it took me 18 months to fully accept that Patrick would need lifelong support as well as 24/7 care. For my husband, it seemed to take a few years to accept. Patrick is our fourth child, as well as our fourth boy. We were also able to have a fifth child, a girl. Our other children could see that Patrick needed constant care, and it was, and still is, difficult for them as well. We love all our children equally, but it is not always an easy thing for them to understand this point.
I have found that most, if not all, materials that have been written on autism treat this diagnosis in an external way. It is an environmental issue, or it is a genetic mutation, and so on. I would like for you to step out of this understanding and contemplate that there is also a spiritual component not only to autism, but all special needs issues. Yes, I know this is different, and that is what I would like to explore!
Patrick at home
As we all try to wrap our minds around the spectrum of autism, it is not a simple or easily understood manifestation. In fact, each child on the spectrum is unique and precious. One cannot compare—as if it were that easy! What makes autism so interesting is that what works for one child will not work for another child.
I believe that we have not only five physical senses, but we also have five spiritual senses. When we are in tune with our bodies and our minds, it is easier to connect to the realm of autism. Our mind is something that one cannot see, yet it is always present. The same with love, one cannot see it, but it is everywhere and everyone wants to attain it.
When we had Patrick, we noticed right away that he was different. He did not cry! He slept all the time and he lost weight. I nursed our children; however Patrick was not able to develop the proper "technique" in order to nurse. I did not realize this right away, as our other children were experts in their ability to get milk!
Not all children are able to nurse and there was not so much education at the time about those children who physically could not do so. I do believe that God guided me to understand that Patrick was not able to get enough milk. I had to get a bottle and make the nipple part bigger, so that he was able to get the milk from the bottle. Patrick was still quite skinny and unweight for his age. It took a lot of work for him to gain the weight he needed.
Patrick with his friend
Once the issue with his weight was resolved, then came the therapies. Patrick never sat up on his own or crawled nor did he walk until he was five years old. He is nonverbal, so that is a constant challenge. I would like to urge those that are reading this to contact your county agencies for support and help, as they know about the resources available in your communities. We have had a county coordinator for Patrick since he was 18 months old. Also, from 18 months old, I took him to physical, occupational, and speech therapies. There is so much to write about the therapies, but not in this article.
Raising a nonverbal child in a verbal world has been quite the journey. Each day is new and brings great challenges; yet also each day is just that, a NEW DAY. I would like to encourage each and every parent of an autistic child, as well as parents of children with other disabilities, to treat each day as unique and look for the joys in life. With love, we all can be the parents that can heal the world.