DREAM DREAMS THAT OTHERS DARE NOT DREAM
On June 24th, I attended the Miss Colorado Scholarship Pageant held at the Ellie Caulkins Opera House in downtown Denver. My young friend, 15-year-old Angelika Buczynski, competed in it and did very well.
During the intermission, a lady approached me and asked me to be in her event called the US Splendor Pageants. She suggested I enter the Elegant Lady division for women between 60-70 years of age. At 64, I was excited, scared and affronted all at once.
For five days I toyed with the idea, telling myself my health would not allow me to do it, how would I pay the $225 fee, buy a gown, sportswear, have a photo shoot done, hair, the whole ball of wax. Then I got the idea to find a sponsor. Since I had been working with my chiropractor for over a year, I decided to ask.
Once I made that decision, it seemed a red plush carpet rolled out in front of me and everything was being given to me on a golden platter. The response was an overwhelming "YES – What do you need? What else do you need?" They not only paid my fee, they bought my gown, sportswear, shoes and jewelry. I did my own hair, makeup and photo shoot.
I got a cd at the library – "How to Become a Model." I watched and studied it and practiced walking up and down the short hallway in my home. My posture had improved with much chiropractic care from an injury I received in a serious car accident when I was 18.
There was no rehearsal and I could not attend the only meeting the contestants had several weeks before the pageant. So, on August 27th, I drove to the Denver Marriott Tech Center Hotel with my son, Matt.
The emcee was the popular mayor of Parker, Colorado. There were six prestigious judges. Three judges conducted interviews only and the other three judged talent. One of the talent judges was a lady who was a keynote speaker at one of our church events many years ago so we were able to renew our relationship. (We were not allowed to know who the judges were before the event.)
Mrs Shirley Chimes
Each contestant was judged with a point system on how quickly they could answer the questions, how factual they were and how convicted they were about the subject matter.
Three interviews came first, each for five minutes. I did not participate in the talent but those ladies who did either sang or danced. The eldest elegant lady of 76 years danced with her partner. The youngest girls were five years old.
Questions were supposed to be asked based on what was written on my application. I wore a royal blue suit that has been in my closet for years. I love it and feel great in it. I accented it with pearls. I was not allowed to wear my glasses which concerned me since I have worn them since I have been in the first grade. After the event began, I never noticed they were gone. And I saw the stage just fine.
Within the time frame of seven hours, us girls became close friends. Everyone helped and encouraged one another – zipping each other up, complimenting, hugging, kissing and holding hands while in line.
The first judge asked me: Why did you want to be in this pageant? My response: I wanted to change my self image in front of my family and circle of friends. I explained that I had suffered a five-day coma 13 years ago. Even though my doctors reassured me that I did not have brain damage, they loaded me up with mental health drugs so heavily, I did not understand why one and one equaled two. Through the years, I battled my way out of a bipolar disorder and received psychiatric care every two weeks for 13 years. Three weeks before the pageant I was able to drop my last psychotic drug with the help of a holistic doctor.
The second judge asked me about my being a surrogate mother. I explained that good friends who married the same time as Jim and I came to us with broken hearts because they could not have children and asked us if we would make a baby for them. We conceived a baby boy they named Earl. He was born on March 28, 1989 and has the same birthday as our firstborn son, Matt, born in 1985. It was a legal adoption and we stay in contact. Earl knows his biological parents and two brothers are in Denver. Earl was home from Iraq and was living in New Orleans. She seemed so taken back.
The third judge asked me: What would I tell a 17-year-old girl? Without hesitation, I answered, "Not to have illicit sexual relationships which would allow her to lead a life that casts no shadows. In doing so, she can become a true woman, wife and mother who lovingly raises a happy family. And – when the woman stands correctly, the nation stands correctly." Later, in the dressing room, I asked another elegant lady what her answer was to that question. It was: "Just go for it."
Next, each contestant went on stage to announce their name and something about themselves. After lunch each contestant modeled their sportswear individually. Then came the evening gown walk. I felt like a 16-year-old Cinderella and at the same time I did not know my heart could pound so hard. While doing the walk, the emcee read what I had written on my application as to what I wish for. My response: participate in the building of the International Peace Highway which will go from New York to London and across the Bering Strait. Then she added, "I never heard THAT before".
Then came the final evening gown walk with a tall gentleman in a top hat. We were lined up behind the curtain in back of the stage. A few seconds before going on stage, I needed to crouch down to catch my breath. The curtain opened and no one knew how hard it was to do this except me. Somehow, the pictures don't show it. On page 247 of Father Moon's autobiography, As a Peace-Loving Global Citizen, he challenges us to do things that we are scared to do: "If a person has conviction, he should be brave and put all his energy into the fight, even if he feels afraid".
If you think pageants are just about sexy gowns and heavy make-up, think again.
Shirley Chimes accepting her award at the beauty pageant
I was awarded the runner-up trophy in the Elegant Lady division. It is tall, red and gold and beautiful. To be honest, I was disappointed at first to take second place and it was hard to admit to myself that I had been a sore loser vowing NEVER to do it again. A week after the pageant, I was still nervous when I thought about it. But as I looked at that beautiful trophy, I came to realize how far I've come from the days my brothers and teachers told me I was "ugly and stupid." Gratitude has overcome me. Now I look into the mirror and see a woman with a happy heart.
The reason I believe this opportunity was given to me is because I "dream dreams that others dare not imagine." (Father Moon's autobiography, page 330)