Parenting for Belonging and Connection: 7 Gifts to Give Your Child with Myrna Lapres
I am sure many parents would say they can still remember the first time they held their child. Maybe there is a feeling of joy or relief or fear for the future—or maybe all of those all at once. No matter our experiences or backgrounds, or whether our children are young or old, I think we can all resonate with the feeling of wanting to give our children the best possible life and future. I am sure we can also relate to the experience of feeling wholly inadequate to the task, meeting many of our own shortcomings as parents along the way.
Luckily, there are several important and critical gifts which we can invest in which will not only create the best environment for growth and happiness but also will touch our children’s future. The best news? Even if our children are grown, it’s never too late to invest in these gifts which don’t cost a dime!
On March 29, our young mothers’ (#yomo) program invited Teacher, Educator, Author, and Parenting Coach, Mrs. Myrna Lapres, to present her recent book 7 Gifts to Give Your Child – Parenting That Will Touch Their Future. Take a look at a snippet of her powerful presentation below or check out the recording. You can also purchase her book now on Amazon (purchase via Amazon Smile and you can support WFWP USA when you do at no extra charge!).
The Gift of Belonging
“Belonging is the intrinsic desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves. True belonging comes when we are unconditionally loved and accepted for who we are. As our children grow, more than anything else they need to feel valued and loved, in fact, they never outgrow that need.” Participants thought about a time in their life they felt truly loved and embraced.
That feeling of belonging, Mrs. Lapres explained, comes from our family culture. Thus, it’s important to be intentional about creating that space rather than just letting things happen. The family culture can be enhanced by the traditions we create, whether that is weekly family time, annual camping trips, special time before bed time, or other ideas.
The Gift of Connection
“The parent-child connection is the core relationship that rules the world. If it is strong and solid, we have healthy men and women. If it is broken and fragmented, we have a wounded world.” Even recent studies have shown that the lack of connection can be traced back to almost all addictions. We use something to numb the pain of lacking meaningful connections. Having those connections is also connected with our brain development and cognitive function.
As parents, we can create that connection with our children by finding ways to be present and show empathy. Even for damaged relationships, connections can be rebuilt with our mindful and intentional investment. For participants who are grandparents or their children are now adults, Mrs. Lapres encouraged that even a monthly Zoom meeting together can strengthen or heal this important bond.
The Gift of Resilience
Even though our instinct as parents is to protect and help our children, they also need to face challenges and have the opportunity to overcome difficulties. That’s how they can build resilience and discover their own strengths and abilities. When we hold ourselves back from stepping in too quickly, we are giving a tremendous gift to our children. There are many ways to help our children do this, appropriate for their age, which is detailed in the book. One example is to cultivate an acceptance of mistakes in our family culture, even acknowledging our own mistakes and what we learned as parents.
Overall, young or old, there are still many ways to give to our children, setting them up for the best chance of future success and happiness and fulfilling that impulse we felt when we looked into their beautiful faces for the first time.
Myrna explained in the above slide that if a butterfly is helped out of it’s cocoon it’s wings can never develop. It needs to go through the struggle of coming out of the cocoon to be able to fly.
If you want to learn more about the remaining four gifts covered on March 29, take a look at the recording of the full program at https://vimeo.com/694671786/fe305d4cbe
Stay tuned for future YOMO programs or take a look at the recordings from previous programs at https://www.wfwp.us/yomo
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