We have not been able to fully embrace the nature of women: Reflections of a College Student
With finals coming to a close in my university, I’ve been watching shows and Korean dramas with my family at night – it’s been our ritual after dinner. Recently we’ve been watching one called “MiSaeng”, which is translated to “Incomplete Life”. In short (no spoilers—don’t worry), it’s about an intern working at a company mostly with men, and with very few women working alongside them. I noticed a lot of rude comments made toward these women about how they are not suited for work, or that they are a burden because they have to bear children and raise a family. When I heard these things my mouth dropped open, appalled at these words. I just sat there, wondering how these actions could go unnoticed by the other characters in the episode.
I started thinking about how even now, many women think that raising a family can be a burden. Some see it as a miserable place to be in – women want to do so much in their life, but raising a family is another thing that is added to that long list. There are many ways society has tried to combat the negative attitude towards women. I admire efforts in America, as well as the effort of those who actively fight for women’s rights. But this drama shows that there is still more to be done.
For one to have a feeling of indignation may be justified. As most are aware, women have been ignored and mistreated in the past, enduring terrible acts such as female genital mutilation and traumatic domestic abuse. Over the long course of history, and even in religious organizations, we see many male leaders—or the few female leaders who somehow made it up the ladder. When I think about these things and injustices, I don’t really think about what women need to do to fight back against it or what bold statements we need to make against these “evil men.” I don’t really think about what women need to do to be better than or prove themselves to men.
I think about what has been missing throughout history—something that has not been able to truly protect women. I think about the heavy resentment many women carry because of the ignorance of the nature of women that has existed for many, many years. Where does this pain, mistreatment, and anger come from?
When I think more deeply, I realize that it’s not just the women themselves who are being ignored. The essence of women has been lost. We as a society have not been fully able to embrace the nature of women. Maybe we can embrace women themselves, but there’s something that’s still misunderstood at its root, at its core.
This skewed image of gender inequality and the value of women stems from a misunderstanding of what is actually needed in this world to create peace. What we are lacking is not some kind of change in our behavior. It is the understanding that we are already wired to love. Whether we are a male or a female, whether we are a son or daughter of God, we are wired to love: and we were wired to love uniquely. A woman may feel that what is most important to her is making sure that her children are well-fed and well-clothed. That’s her way of loving her children and her children desperately need that. A man may feel like he wishes to work for money during the week, mow the lawn on the weekends as well as relax with his children in his free time. Sometimes a man prefers to be the “house husband,” and the mother is the breadwinner of the family! And that’s ok. We may love differently, but we are all gifted with an innate ability to love uniquely.
On a societal level, in what ways can a woman love the world and offer something that a man wouldn’t be inspired to give? And in what ways can a man offer something that allows this world to be a peaceful loving place where all are happy? Do we need for women to copy men, and to try to be as good as them when trying to love others? For example, when you love someone, do you just copy what others are doing and try to change yourself so that you’re better than them at “loving?” Maybe sometimes we do. But when we truly love someone, there is no comparison, there is no competition in loving that person. We just love. We should nurture our differences– not compare ourselves to others.
Love is not a competition. When it comes to contributing to the world, to a global family, we each need to tap into our superpower. I know that I’m God-awful at math, so why would I want a profession in math? Is it solely to be “better” than others, or to prove them wrong? Is changing myself in order to prove that I’m better than others really going to create a peaceful world? I think what resonates with me more is focusing on developing my strengths and treating them as my superpower. Being happy and discovering who we are as women does not have to be in competition with men. Our happiness as women is not a competition.
Our society has not been able to fully embrace the nature of women. In fact, on the flip side, our society has not been able to be embraced. If we look back at both men and women, we can see that the embracing nature leans more towards that of a woman. The power of women (and men) lie in the sacred and beautiful way we were made—not by our accomplishments or our capabilities. Women were made to embrace and be embraced. Women were made with intention, by our Heavenly Parent, to embrace the world and everything in it.
The secret to understanding our value is understand what we were made for. I think Billie Eilish’s song, “What Was I Made For” asks legitimate questions. It was written for the Barbie Movie, but I’m sure many people have been able to relate to her message. As a woman, what was I made for? As a man, what was I made for? We were not meant to be judged based on our accomplishments or what we can contribute. I think what everyone deeply wants is for who they are to be recognized. Not for what they’ve done, not their past, not their accomplishments- just who they are. It’s generally in women’s nature to connect, to embrace, to forgive, to nurture. This is the power of women. When we look at society, we may notice that there is a certain, glorified “hustle culture” that is trending. Yes, the world needs to accomplish, to have goals, to produce and to progress and move forward. But what will happen when people cannot achieve this standard? When we get discouraged or when we cannot achieve the intense goals that we set for ourselves?
The missing puzzle piece is the feminine nature of a mother who will love her child no matter what. Everyone wants to be loved and embraced. As sisters, mothers, and daughters, we women need to believe in our God-given nature and let our superpower shine. When we recognize our power that comes from within, and not from our accomplishments or what we can prove ourselves with, I think it will be a healing process for both men and women, sons and daughters. The feminine aspect of God needs to be expressed through strong daughters who can embrace God’s feminine aspect, know their power, and change the world. I believe this femininity will heal our societies and will heal all hearts that are longing to be embraced.